Immigration Service Recruitment Tragedy, Nigeria, Oscar Pistorius, President Goodluck Jonathan, Satire, Valdmir Putin

Jonathan’s Winning Strategies

The published photograph of the beloved Nigerian President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, kneeling down to greet the wizened mother of his predecessor in office, Umar Yar’adua, has no doubt caught wide public attention and reactions.
The posture of Jonathan poignantly stands out as this action, framed in the picture, was enacted in the midst of women including those who were reported to be Yar’adua’s sisters.
A number of observers have commented that the noble act was in keeping with the true character of Jonathan as a humble person from humble background who grew up without the privilege of having a pair of shoes to wear.
Some others, of course, the unrepentant detractors, have been reading all sorts of meanings into the gesture. The most virulent is that it was all about 2015 elections. They see it as a calculated gesture to win the hearts of a significant section of the electorate. They recall his similar gesture in the presence of a highly revered man of God during the previous election, which some believe clinched victory for him. They believe that Jonathan would do anything imaginable and unimaginable to win election. Gosh! How vile can a detractor be!
Some other negative school of thought view it as what they brand, we think wickedly, the President’s cluelessness about everything, not the list, official protocol, which his exalted office demands. To us, those who are touting this view are the clueless ones.
Jonathan’s USPs
We want to remind those who are touting the satanic view that Jonathan would do anything, fair or foul, to win election, to take another look at his numerous accomplishments and unique selling propositions which include: Improved electricity, unhindered fuel supply, effective security measures, peace and tranquility, far-reaching fight against corruption, perfect network of roads and a seamless transportation system all over. And above all, a great future for our youth in the face of high employment rate.
If you don’t believe that, just take a look at the photographs of those who attended the recruitment drive by the Nigerian Immigration Service in some states of the federation, during which dozens of lives were reportedly lost. During Jonathan’s tenure so far, the country has witnessed a lot of pleasant surprises, not tales of woes, disasters, deaths, and all kinds of bad luck, as some detractors would have us believe. Nigeria is indeed lucky to have Goodluck Jonathan in the saddle and would do well to have him for another term. Good luck Nigeria.

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Putin’s Pushfulness

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Remorseless and unrelenting, Russia’s strong man, Valdmir Putin is pushing ahead with his resolve to assert the Russian pride by reannexing Crimea. The consummate ex-KGB operative is playing the deft game of having the whole world teetered to his whims and caprices, and in awe as well as trepidation of what his next moves would be. Some believe so far he has beaten his arch rival, Barrack Obama, to a corner and rendered him a wimp, starting with the Syrian debacle. His detractors have branded him a psycho and another Hitler in the making. Well, what does it matter if a few thousands or even millions of lives have to be wasted for an Assad or a Putin to lord it over lesser mortals.

Pistorius Posture

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To project how sensitive and humane he truly is, the South African paraplegic sports icon, Oscar Pistorius, had disgorged in court dams of vomit while he was reacting to the sights and sounds of witnesses’ accounts of the mysterious murder of his ex-girlfriend. No, doubt, more of that emotion-laden posture will sway the hallowed bench in his favour.

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